im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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