it's not cheating when I paid for it
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
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