so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
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