she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Randomize
