Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
