can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
