I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
