No more Irish car bombs ever.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
