Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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