Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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