she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
