i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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