I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
