forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize
