shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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