Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Wtf am i supposed to tell my kids when they ask about my first time? "Mommy got drunk off her ass and fucked a total stranger in another stranger's bedroom, then got abandoned by the selfish prick and walk of shamed to the nearest gas station to call a cab, but ended up passed out in a park in a pool of her own puke."
At least mommy was smart enough to use protection and hack into the asshole's facebook account.
Well of course. Mommy may be a slutty drunk but she ain't no idiot.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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