Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
