He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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