Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
