btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
