Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
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