Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
