youre lurking in front of me
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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