My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
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