My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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