Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
