Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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