mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
So. Much. Porn.
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