I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
