My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
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