She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
