So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
