he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
