Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
