Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
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