i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
either way he was missing a nipple.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
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