after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize