we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
