Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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