yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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