I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Randomize
