I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
