I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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