I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Randomize
