didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
