"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Randomize
