People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
