not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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