Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
whose parrot is this?
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
