i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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