I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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