Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
