Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
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