I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
