puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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