We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Randomize
