you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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