My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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