the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
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