i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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