i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
