He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
