Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
